#in any of the other roles that he plays
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Suddenly remembered something I wanted to say re:Akechi, because I think it's really core to his character (at least the way I interpreted him?) and I feel like it explains a lot of his contradictions. Essentially, he is incapable of seeing himself as just a person - he's either the greatest hero/detective ever, or he's some violent monster, and it's like there's no in-between. It's very in keeping with his obvious superiority-inferiority complex, but it goes deeper than that too; when he's in a role, it seems like his self-perception kind of changes too depending on how he is perceived by others. He really does get a confidence boost from being the Detective Prince. He really does shut down emotionally as the Black Mask.
They're masks that he's made, and it's not that aspects of them aren't based in truth to some extent, but I think it goes to show why he's not actually that fantastic a liar (imo, I found the outright lies pretty obvious), but he is a very good actor. He's either an angel or a demon, and never a person, but there are conditions to that. He is an angel when he is perfect - to society. He is a demon when he is vengeful - again, to society. He is never a person, because he never was seen as one - to society. He was disregarded. To be anything of value or notoriety, whether that's hero or villain, he has to be wildly more or less than who he actually is, and he's been building these masks up for so long that I really think he lost sight of the actual person behind it all. And I don't think he wanted to see that person anyways, because that person "wasn't good enough" and I do think he'd rather be anything other than himself. That trickery, that deflection from the person within, in itself brings him pride and satisfaction. He wants to be loved and needed instead of being cast aside, but I also think that if he can't have that then he'd much rather be hated than never have mattered at all. He weaponizes his own loneliness - if he can't ever be accepted then he'll build his own pedestal apart from everyone else.
It's so fascinating too, because I just wonder how much of this he was consciously aware of pre, during, and post engine room. There's this recurring thing with him where he goes "I can only be myself" etc but I just want to shake him because, well, who is that, Akechi??? Or, who do you think that is? Do you actually have an answer? Is it predicated on your actual feelings or solely on your success at fooling everyone around you? Is there any part of you that you actually like that isn't based on a painstakingly constructed mask? Isn't it all mostly lies to deflect from the truth? Isn't it all founded mostly on truth, nonetheless?
It drives me insane. And I think this is a big reason why he breaks so hard in the engine room, because so much of his mask requires his "audience" to perform in a particular way. And here he is, and the Thieves have beaten him, so there goes the first mask, because he's no longer "perfect". He swings wildly into the ugliest sides of him, but this mask is broken too, amidst him vehemently and desperately denying that he has any other emotions than hatred and rage, or any other needs or desires than vengeance. And after that, it's just him. And they should reject him, right? That's what happens. He's not useful, he's not needed or perfect, his hands are stained with blood. But the Thieves, again, don't play the role he expects them to. They, despite everything, relate to him - because he is in fact very similar in a lot of ways and they acknowledge him as a person - not a hero, or idol, or villain, or tool, or unwanted child - but as a damaged teen like the rest of them. And he does not know what to do with that. His identity is intrinsically dependent on getting the right reactions from other people as a form of ingratiating himself - if he does not get that reciprocal reaction he's looking for, his act falters, and, I really do believe that so does his self-perception. That's why you see different aspects of him seep out when he's spending time with Joker, because Joker does not react the way he expects, and Akechi both does and does not like this, because it leaves him feeling both intrigued and vulnerable.
I do think this particular aspect of his character is something a lot of the Thieves don't fully grasp - certainly, I think Joker "I need the mask" Persona 5 understands to a degree, but the sheer degree of reliance and the level of pride attached to it is something that confuses him a little, I think, especially in Mementos Mission. I think the thief that comes closest is actually Morgana, who has a similar superiority-inferiority complex and a desperate need to be seen as competent and useful lest he be discarded. (This is a big part of why the rather lackluster writing with Morgana's arc frustrates me so much because I really do feel it was meant to be contrasted with Akechi's, but I digress.) Morgana is the one to make that emotional appeal to Akechi, which makes a degree of sense - Morgana struggled all along with finding a place in the world. His form leads others to underestimate him; he visually doesn't fit in. He's acting out the role of a chivalrous and cool phantom thief but is more pragmatic with how he views relationships, at least at first. He wants a place to belong where he is appreciated more than anything but his pride won't let him spit it out. Accepting that he belongs and that he is loved even if he really did have nothing of value to provide is a big part of the resolution of his arc. He tries to offer that learned lesson to Akechi in turn ("Follow your true feelings. Even if you think people hate you, or don't want you around-"), but Akechi just wasn't in the right space to listen. There's also an important distinction between the two - Morgana envies humans and looks up to them. Akechi envies humans and looks down on them. Morgana is perfectly happy once he is assured a place amongst the group, but Akechi see-saws wildly between wanting to belong and wanting to be a step above the rest and separating himself further. So while Morgana actually really did cut to the core of the issue, his appeal would never have worked at this point because a) Akechi's pride is dependent on him maintaining his solo act, and b) he just got outed as not actually hating Joker in front of seven other people including Joker himself lmao.
So, uh, sorry, Morgana. Points for trying.
#oh no this got long again hfdsjfshbf#anyways i do have more akechi thoughts wrt parallels with other characters but i think i should stop bc i keep talking about him#and it's probably annoying#also i should probably wait to see what he's like in third semester because it seems like he's taking a lead role here#and he's definitely changed so i'm curious to see who he is now#storyrambles#does this even make sense. idk.#what a fascinating character. i can't stand him. i hope he gets lovingly dunked on for the rest of time.#story plays persona 5#p5r#goro akechi#p5 meta#p5 morgana#call me ace detective the way i am ace. and also a detective.#<-i feel the need to clarify on any post involving akechi that this is my standard analysis tag that has nothing to do with him#i am not a kinnie i don't think i could take that
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reece characters getting called little ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
#reece shearsmith#the league of gentlemen#inside no 9#in9#i haven't finished s3 or misc tlog content yet so may have to add some on later?#i wouldve included examples of other ppl calling him little but i dont have any! it's a steve thing ig!#he's petite...i want to put him in my bag...#anyway i can only speculate about the fact that only one of these lines comes from in9:#i think it's bc they didnt usually allocate roles until late in the process.#and the one example here is from tlw - cf my previous post about the allocation of roles in that episode#so they presumably already knew who would be playing chas when they wrote this line. whereas they might not for other eps#that said if you know any other examples from in9 pls let me know!#tlog#rs
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of the many injustices put forth toward the show by fans i think the most overall damaging and telling of a complete lack of critical viewership is the idea that sam riegel builds his characters with nothing more than the bit in mind. like you are only telling on yourself if you think characters like scanlan shorthalt and veth brennato are one-dimensional and depthless
#if im being exTREMEly generous i can maybe understand this view of scanlan if you started c1 and then gave up 30 episodes later#he played the long game with him more than any other and a lot of his growth could be looked at as shallow if you DIDNT watch til the payoff#but any time this opinion is used as a blanket over all of his characters including tary and even FCG.. like be serious#i mean at this point im definitely biased bc he is my favorite player at the table. However. that wasnt always the case#and even when i was myself writing some character choices off i NEVER applied that to the characters themselves. how can you??#seen sooo many ppl criticize him for making veth an alcoholic or scanlan irreverent & hedonistic as tho it’s only possible#to play these traits as shallow jokes or at best played out satire…. and then the same person will turn around#and praise how percy was built to be pompous & superior and jester immature & self-centered and caleb steeped in self-effacing hubris#why are these characters and their players given a near universal acceptance of nuance and acknowledgement of growth & healing#but SAMS CHARACTERS ARE NOT!!!!#this turned into such a rant but it bothers me SO much. everyone at the cr table is so goddamned talented#and takes the game as seriously as it deserves#so many more points i could argue but this is already so goddamn long no one is reading this far. i love sam and all of his characters <333#critical role#sam riegel#scanlan shorthalt#veth brennato#my posts
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no ok because forevers solo mission into the nether and all the vague ‘if I don’t return’ and ‘I’m sorry’ messages he’s left behind is made all the more heart wrenching because he wasn’t meant to be the martyr.
bad has been setting himself up for tragedy. it’s in the self destructive choices he makes, his hyper paranoia, his self isolation, the way he’s literally turning blue and can’t seem to notice it himself. and from a meta perspective, it’s obvious - he talks about lasting consequences, he makes very clear framing and music decisions, the story arc has been setting up for something big. he’s got a book that says it’s for forever’s eyes only and hinted at him needing his help. he’s said to tina that he’s 100% sure of one person ending up dead at the end of all this. he’s made it clear he’d do anything he thinks would get the kids back - self sacrifice included.
it’s been an anxious build up as bad gets worse and worse. as his friends pick up clues and notice. bagi says she knows that bad lies and can cause havoc, but she’s not going to leave his side because he is too sad to be left alone. foolish takes note of his color blindness before anyone else. forever demands his time and reassures bad daily that he is there for him. gives him a flower every day. makes an entire party just showing how much bad is cared for and loved. keeps talking and visiting even when he’s ripping out his hair with annoyance because bad just won’t quit being a nuisance, or argumentative, or a probable kidnapper.
it feels like love and doomed endings. it feels like a build up to something tragic. it feels like trying to save a drowning man who won’t let anyone pull him up. because bad is ready to work for the feds, torture people, burn down anything in his way, sacrifice himself in his desperation and grief.
but now its forever who’s gone and decided any danger to himself is worth it for his son. who’s left behind vague goodbyes and see you soons, unsure if he’ll survive but set on the kids surviving at the very least. he’s already decided his death is worth it.
and while it’s not a surprise, it’s enough of a script flip to punch us all in the gut. because we expected tragedy, we expected uneasy goodbyes and self destructive choices and that effect felt across the island - but we didn’t expect it to be forever.
and neither did bad - who relied on that flower every day
#maybe it’s more of a twist from bads perspective but like. in the roles their characters play in this story it’s now up in the air#this is like more meta analysis but like I’m fucking. freaking out about it#it’s an example of a twist that makes sense because we have seen evidence to make this believable. since the eggs first day gone forever has#been dead set on finding them. going explosive at first. he doesn’t know who he is without richas and the federation twists arms like none#other. so it’s set up. it was just half forgotten because of how much bad has been taking that role on stage yknow#if this makes any sense jfjskfkr idk it’s like yeah I was expecting 4halo bullshit angst and bad being a source of tragedy but not this#not this#mcyt#qsmp#q!bbh#bbh#forever#q!forever#qsmp meta#z speaks
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hi I saw your post about hadestown and bingge and I'm frothing at the MOUTH. I think like how shen yuan started hyperfixating on pidw bingge just fuking becomes a number 1 fan for the performance troupe. What other performances do you think Shen Yuan will xianxia-ify?
SAME. Aaaaaa im so glad you liked that post, im in a similar state over it <33 Bingge went in expecting a vaguely entertaining but ultimately mediocre show and instead got fucking SCALPED. Like instantly obsessed, unable to go back to the way he was before, completely unhinged <3
And aaaurrgh I have this design idea for the Hades actor where throughout the whole show, Hades is wearing a mianguan with so many beads hanging over the front of his face that you couldn't see anything above his mouth. His upper face completely obscured by his crown and the jewels/beads hanging from it. The picture of an untouchable, terrifying, powerful emperor.
But during Epic III, when Orpheus sings the first "la la la", Hades bellows "Where'd you get that melody!?" as he stands from his throne in rage. As he does, his mianguan falls from his head to the ground, revealing the full of his face for the first time. Revealing the face of an angry, scared man.
He doesn't put the mianguan back on for the rest of the show, and he's so expressive that it's no wonder he wore the mianguan all the time.
and as for your ACTUAL ask -- nothing too modern gets xianxia-fied! Hadestown was easy because it already had mythical elements due to being another myth. He just had to rewrite it in a way that would make sense in PIDW. And he doesn't xianxia too many musicals i think, some of them require too much outside context that would be too hard to translate.
Epic I think would be one that gets xianxia-fied, although that's one of the trickier musicals because Jorge has very specific musical motifs behind each character that makes it hard to translate into PIDW -- Hermes' is associated with the harp and the lyre but every time he's in a song he also comes with a very techno-disco-y (???) beat. Plus a lot of other technical aspects as well -- Scylla is the first to come to mind -- that SY's troupe doesn't have the manpower or funds for.
I think it could happen, though! It's just rather tough and it helps fuel SY's decision to keep the musical adaptations to a minimum AND to use musicals that aren't super modern. Hunchback of Notre Dame I think SY could get away with xianxia-fying. Anastasia too. I don't know many plays so I can't say what plays he could xianxia-fy, but he DOES write stage adaptations for some of the stories he tells his troupe, and finds that he really likes it!
It's surprisingly fun coming up with roles, lines, story beats, etc, trying to figure out how he could make this into that. Writing is fun, and the mental challenge that comes with even more so. He loves it!
He makes a stage play telling the story of Hades and Persephone -- albeit altered to fit into Hadestown, rather than the original tale.
And eventually he starts making up his own stories as well -- retellings of myths from PIDW and his world, and things he made up himself to tell certain messages. Rarely does he play a major role in any of these stage plays themselves -- much to Bingge's dismay. It's too much attention for his poor thin face to take! He most often just plays Orpheus. He prefers to stay behind the scenes during plays.
But you can always find him outside the theater when his troupe is in town! If they're not preparing for a stage performance, SY loves going out to tell stories to a crowd! It brings him a lot of joy to watch them sit on the edge of their seats, hanging on to his every word. He especially loves telling stories to children, they get so excited and their interruptions can get annoying sometimes, but its endearing.
And oh, he does love to sing. He's just so very shy about it. It's a miracle that his troupe managed to convince him to be Orpheus -- but that's probably why they waited until opening night to do it. People get so weird when he sings -- it makes him self-conscious. So he only sings when he's alone or around his troupe while on the road.
Oh yeah no, Bingge is OBSESSED with this group. Specifically one mister Shen Yuan who looks so very much like his old teacher, but ISNT him. He's not sure if Shen Yuan is a descendant of Shen Qingqiu's family line, or straight up the man's reincarnation, but at this point he doesn't actually care that much he just needs the man's attention.
It's actual so funny I think. I don't think fan merch exists in PIDW which is a problem, because Bingge WILL resort to stalking. He's going to orchestrate a fan meeting with SY mark his fucking words. He has to see what this man is like when he's not on stage -- is he as pure as the character he portrays? Or is he as rotten as the face he wears.
(It turns out to be the former, and Bingge doesn't know what to do about it. Kidnapping is high on that list. It is SO high on that list.)
#had to stop it here because its getting so long#but i have IDEAS about how Bingge and SY finally meet#svsss#mxtx au#svsss ask#starry asks#luo binghe#luo bingge#bingyuan#shen yuan#scum villain#i had two roles for SY in Hadestown: orpheus and hermes. The role of Hermes ultimately works best with a Shizun SY and disciple binghe tho#smth smth about how Hermes has told this story again and again with the hopes that it will change and he can only stand back and watch as#the same thing happens again and again and the parallels between him and SY feeling like he's unable to change the plot despite trying#SY playing Hermes interacts most directly with the Fates. He moves when others move him. He stares at the audience a lot when he speaks#like he's speaking directly to them too. to look up. to see the storm coming over their heads. as if they the audience can do something#as if they can stop it if they could just look UP. as if they have any say in the way the wind blows. they have as much say as he does
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Guys, I’ve read the Wild Robot
And let me tell you, if I hadn’t recently taken a Children’s Literature class in college, I would’ve said this was the best middle-grade book I’ve read since elementary/middle school. I almost read this book in one night (I was sleepy 😴) like I couldn’t put it down.
The heart behind this book is astounding and it never shies away from showing complex and difficult concepts. You will fall in love with Roz and her gosling son along with all of the other animal on the island.
If you’ve got younger ones, I highly recommend reading this to them or having a little book club moment with them. However, be prepared for whatever hard questions may come your way (i.e. circle of life and climate issues). You know your child and how much they can handle/understand. If you’re like me and much older, it’s a quick read and a great way to finish off a long day. It’s a part of a trilogy and you bet I’m patiently waiting for my hold on a copy at the library.
If the movie is anything like the book (which, given a rewatch of the trailer, it’s looking like so), we are in for a special treat.
#the wild robot#children’s literature#pedro pascal#did I get the book on the off chance pedro might have been casted - yes#but from what I learned in my kid lit class is that middle grade fiction in much more nuanced than ya lit today#ya lit has better potential of being good bc it has more room to work with#however ya tends to lean on tropes more heavily than middle grade#middle grade is much more focused on learning topics and issues than playing with them#making them more tightly knit#also with the decline of media literacy I think this book is a wonderful counterattack#it’s not shattering by any means but def a big step in the right direction#especially for those who have a harder time getting interested in books#and once again I’m so pleased with how carefully curated Pedro’s projects are amidst his growing stardom#he truly cares about the message and thought provoking-ness of his work#and it makes this writer/literature nerd so proud#(yes I know there’s no true messages behind his recent gladiator and marvel roles other than it sounded like fun to him but I support that#- too… the man must have his fun purely for fun’s sake)
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Shy
#only boo the series#only boo#peachblossomgifs#keen suvijak#sea dechchart#sorry shone i don't think there is any chance of you coming between these too#for that reason I don't mind the weird love triangle because I don't see it playing a big role in the show#it's just kind of weird#but these two are flirting hard with each other and kang has hardly admitted his feelings yet to moo#he's already admitted them to neth so it's just a matter of time lol
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I thinks he's been drinking that Gender Fluid, personally speaking
#buddy daddies#kurusu kazuki#suwa rei#unasaka miri#reikazu#(again tagging that just because of the bot problem in the other ship tag i am not implying what roles they may play sexually)#(you can imagine them any way you want i personally dont think there is one specific role/position either plays every single time)#(bc thats not very common in real life relationships usually people switch it up at least a little)#genderfluid kazuki#kazuki mama is important to me ok ... he's best mom...#fanart#doodles#sketches#cryptid creations
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a good 90% of the characters kyle gallner plays could be fixed if they just got dicked down
#what does this say about him...#this was specifically in reference to mother may i but literally any other role he's played Basically Ever also works#kyle gallner#si yaps
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i think thistle is the truest version of a poor little meow meow
#every other character i see harkened as a poor little meow meow is like#some pathetic side character or cartoonish villain#like sometimes people play up the backstories or patheticness of villains/antiheros in a story#but like#thistle is actually genuinely written like that#there isnt this dissonace i feel with fanon and canon i feel with others#thistle is a good well written villain. he has funny moments but they don't overtake his role as a threat#he even has a tragic backstory but that doesn't make him any less powerful or dangerous#his patheticness isnt overplayed but hes not cartoonishly evil either#ramble over#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi spoilers#kinda#thistle dungeon meshi
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contemplating something abt these two bits together
#but I'm walking to work & it's raining so it'll have to wait#<- something something how these two both separately came to perceive the church as an another sort of power/hierarchy/authority#alongside the government/legal system/etc rather than any real connection to god something something speaking to th role the church plays i#the lives of ordinary people & the disadvantaged#<- not wrll phrased but my phone is getting wet#thoughts#yeah the valjean one is ironic & sweet in context since he's talking to a bishop & doesn't realize it but he's not exactly wrong. this#bishop is very much the exception like even other members of the church seem to find him very weird#+ yeah javert's but is in context a character moment wrt to his worldview & his not having seen the forest (god) for the trees (the church)#& the pointlessness of authority sort of for authority's sake etc etc#BUT. idk i think it's interesting#les mis
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One of Rhaenyra's biggest opps (in HOTD) really was her own father. Because how are you going to proclaim your daughter as heir, only to then marry her best friend and have four kids, three sons, in an environment that is against women already as is but even more so with one sitting on the Iron Throne? And then, not only, do you not prepare her for anything political but scold her publicly, which isn't good for her image, and just....hardly do anything to aid her until you're on your last leg? And yet there are still fans saying he was a "great dad" and that he "did all he could". HA, I THINK NOT!
#rhaenyra targeryan#viserys targaryen#anti viserys i targaryen#hotd#house of the dragon#like he set her up so bad and it's quite sad really#like i do believe rhae fumbled on her own and was kind of not helping her case#but viserys played a role in this too#and he's just all around not a good person#he sets rhae up from the jump by not actively submitting that he chose her as his heir#and constantly leaving her second guessing as well as putting alicent in a tough spot bc why have more kids?#why put her or any other poor mother through the possibility of raising children only for them to be killed so his heir can remain?#and like even if rhae didn't want to kill her siblings (which i think is very debatable but in hotd terms might have given daemon) they#still would have been in a stick situation#don't even get me started on how he sucks at keeping peace bc he literally makes his own family resent one another#by being a shitty dad and husband. like sir you are not helping anything
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7 Days of Scarepairs: Blam | Blaine Anderson x Sam Evans (Glee) + “Vampire”
Requested by Anonymous
"I have to compel you. If anyone found out-"
Sam stared back at him, his eyes as big as saucers. "Who would believe me? I don't even think I believe me."
"Trust me," Blaine said gravely, "plenty of people around here would believe you, and that wouldn't end well. For anyone. It's not just me."
Sam got out of his chair. "Wait, there are others? Like, here? In Lima?"
Reluctantly, Blaine nodded. He knew shouldn't be telling him any of this. It was too much of a risk. He should compel him now, like Mr Schue told him to.
But then he caught a glimpse of Sam's face. He was grinning from ear-to-ear as he sank back into the chair and shook his head. He looked up at him.
"This is so cool."
"It's really not," Blaine tried to protest.
"Dude, you're a freaking vampire!" He glanced around them, his face taking on a more serious look as Blaine motioned for him to keep his voice down. "Sorry. It's just... I don't understand. You're this awesome, supernatural being with awesome powers. You're like a superhero."
Every disadvantage and negative side to it rolled right back down Blaine's throat. His mouth quirked and Sam's grin widened.
"I guess, in a way..." he said, his brow furrowing. "Wait, you like superheroes?"
"Are you kidding? I love them," Sam said with barely contained excitement but, to his credit, he managed to keep control of his volume. His eyes grew impossibly wider and he was out of his chair again, standing in front of him. "Could I be your human sidekick?!"
The answer to that question should, undoubtedly, be a resounding no. Letting him keep his memories was bad enough. But actually involving him in any of it? Mr Schue would never let it slide.
He opened his mouth to shoot him down, but... he just couldn't bring himself to do it. The truth was, it was a pretty lonely existence. He'd only been a vampire for two years, but he barely had anyone to talk to anymore. His parents didn't want to know him. It was better they forgot about him entirely and went on pretending he had actually died that night.
Even his brother was better off like that.
Sure, he had a few friends at Dalton, and they knew what it was like, but... he was still really lonely. They had all gotten used to in their own ways, but he never could. Mr Schue was always telling him he couldn't have human blood because of the ripper gene, so he couldn't exactly tag along with David and Jeff when would sneak out.
He never even talked to Kurt about it because he thought it might freak him out too much, with all the history between witches and vampires, and now he wasn't even there anymore anyway.
He felt completely alone, even in his own world.
But here was Sam, looking at him like he was the coolest person he had ever met. Asking to be his friend. He wasn't afraid of him or what he might do, not like everyone back at Dalton or Mr Schue.
"I'm sorry." He sighed as Sam's face fell. "It's too dangerous. I need to make you forget all of this."
Sam pressed his lips together and nodded. "Can I just ask one thing? Don't take everything away."
Blaine opened his mouth, already shaking his head, but Sam lifted his eyes to him, freezing him to the spot with his next words.
"Leave the part where we met today."
Sam took a deep breath and nodded one more time, letting him know he was ready, even if he wasn't really. And he wasn't the only one.
He couldn't do it. He couldn't make him forget.
Worse than that: he didn't want to.
#glee#blam#blaine anderson#sam evans#blaine x sam#sam x blaine#otp: wolverine and cyclops#7 days of scarepairs#myedit*#if anyone has watched legacies they'll know exactly what this is based on#because I can totally see blam having the same dynamic as mg/ethan#like it even fits so well with blaine as mg because IMAGINE this sweet soft boy having the ripper gene#and his parents would rather he was dead than a 'monster'#and he was totally head over heels for a witch (kurt obvs)#and dalton is the salvatore boarding school because duh#and mr schue is like alaric - the human who used to be a hunter and kinda despises the supernatural but is for some reason their teacher#and sue is totally a hunter#like big bad evil hunter style#or she's klaus idk that probably fits the narrative better since he was more of a problem than any of the hunters ever were#I've just accidentally created a whole tvd au for glee lmao#now I have to work out what roles all of the others play!#this might end up as a whole fic lmao#rarepair rowboat#rowing the rarepair rowboat
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thinking about how akio sees his younger self in utena and wondering if there's any fondness there. doesn't change the horror of what he does to her obviously but i do wonder
#akio and utena#m#long ramble in the tags sorry:#the thing about akio is that he's so evil bit he's also so human#he has feelings. i just don't know what they are (if anything) toward his victims#he loves anthy at the very least i'm sure of that. even if he hates her too. just like she loves and hates him. the lines are blurry.#and i just. i have to wonder whether any of that extends to utena at all. we know anthy at times feels similarly about utena and dios#(and akio by extension.) the simultanious love and resentment. so it's not too unlikely i think.#like. even though he never had anything but bad intentions in getting close to her#i'm not sure it's possible to do everything he did and feel nothing#not that he has any meaningful amount of guilt or remorse for it. i don't think that.#and i obviously don't think he “loved” her in any of the ways she might have thought he did#but did he not care at all? did he not feel any kind of fondness or sympathy or just. idk. pity? for her?#whatever the case it wasn't enough to reconsider having her killed so you know. how much does that actually matter anyway#idk. i think about it a lot. how abusers are rarely entirely indifferent toward their victims#the role he's playing in her life is so fucked up but it IS a role he's playing and i wonder how much he you know... internalizes it?#how much does he believe the illusion of family that he invites her into? because akio DOES often buy into his own illusions.#(similarly i think it's possible that akio is fond of touga too. their mentor-protégé relationship is horrible and abusive#but that doesn't make it less real. you know? maybe real is the wrong word.)#when he talks in episode 25 about wanting utena and anthy closer that's obviously so he can continue to groom her#but is there something genuine there too? i don't know.#again. it obviously does not make anything he does better or even different. but it is interesting to think about to me.#on the other side of that coin does seeing his own past youth and naivete and desire to do good that he (maybe) once had#reflected back at him through her mean anything?#is there resentment there? that she is what he couldn't be? or more likely he just thinks that idealism is stupid.#either way it's something he wants to take from her. anyway ramble over.#i talk a lot about utena's feelings toward akio (familial vs romantic love and the way the two are intertwined in fucked up ways)#but not much the other way around. probably because utena is actually a sympathetic character whose feelings the show very clearly#wants you to analyze and think about.#which is... less true for akio i think. though he's still a complex character with complex motives. he's just harder to get a grasp on.
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through no fault of his own, i think sebastian stan might have actually tanked his career with the apprentice
#i've been thinking about this ever since the actors on actors drama. his career was never on a brilliant trajectory anyway. he had a moment#immediately post-catws when he was booking films like ricki and the flash/the martian and it seemed like he was on an explosive career path#but that didn't really... pan out. despite that he's been doing okay since. his movies are very hit or miss but he does well for himself.#the problem is that he's never really had the social capital required to play such a controversial role and get away with it.#frankly (to his credit) i don't know that there are many people in this current climate who could make a movie about DT and get away with i#and considering his own background in romania i'm sure the role was significant/important to him and i can respect him for that#but i feel like the apprentice was sort of a double edged sword. because on the one hand this performance solidified him as a serious actor#but on the other hand#it's also solidified him as a very high risk/low reward actor; the kind of actor who encapsulates the dying spirit of film without any real#social capital to pay it off. he's up for a couple golden globes which is good. that's a significant accomplishment. but what happens#beyond that only time will tell. i could be 100% wrong about all of this but. there's a lot of staying power in controversy.#sometimes that's to people's benefit. most times it's not.#i guess we'll see#jack's film tag
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1.10 / 1.09
#something to be said not just about how Ibrahim aims to replace his past family with his present bond with Süleiman (and Musti and Mahi#branch off of that bond) but also how Hatice fits in all of this - the one Ibrahim leans on everytime he's likely to lose SS is *her*#she isn't just the future he wants to secure in the castle but also the past he yearns for outside of it especially in that initial period#of their relationship; and not just any past but a very particular fragment of it - the next most valuable person of his past other than#his brother: his *mother*. it's no wonder him playing *his mother's* melodies with the violin marks the beginning of their story and stays#an important motif throughout. just like Ibrahim's mother Hatice is so familiar yet so out of reach (and this unreachability accumulates in#E13 - Ibrahim leaves for Parga thus returning to his past but leaving Hatice behind but *then* finding out his mother is gone too.#*both* people he wants to be close to soo much are *gone* in that moment. there's a link between them because of this. also Hatice tieing#lbrahim's mother to “heaven” as well and her “looking at their happiness from above” Ibro responds with in E14.) Hatice will distance#more and more from that role later on until lbrahim starts to outright abandon this whole 'return to the past' idea with Hatice and#search for it through Nigar instead. but yeah anyway I feel these two scenes are the perfect encapsulation of how complicated#the past is for lbrahim; he avoids remembering it because it *hurts* to remember both because why would he remember it when he already has#an established future and because deep down he resents what he's become and established as that isn't ever permanent and he's lost all else#*himself* most of all as who is a person without his roots? he wants to forget them but can't ever do it so what's left is replacing them#*all of them*; when he finds Hatice too he wants to have *both* her and Süleiman and SS marrying Hatice off directly challanges that want#up to that point he believed in the possibility of their love more than Hatice did; now? he seems as lost as she is not knowing what to do#the only way not to lose either of them is accepting Süleiman's order convincing himself that this is how it should be no matter how much#that hurts and would bury him even deeper; he can't bear it so he searches for a solution - and when he sees Rhodes sea? it hits him#it hits him how low he's actually sunk through the losses and if he can't “fully* replace the past he'll *fully* return to the past letting#*everything else* once hidden out as well. not to mention how right before he left to Parga he was brought to fear for his literal death#and then he is given more power that also brings some uncertainty with it and that likely scared him cementing his departure for Parga#directly following Piri Pasha's advice to let power go as it won't let *you* go#(btw a big contrast between S01 and S03 Ibrahim can be drawn in his relationship with Piri Pasha and his relationship with Ebusuud)#magnificent century#muhteşem yüzyıl#muhtesem yuzyil#ibrahim pasha#(sorry for the disorganized tags but if I kept it like it was I would've exceeded the limit before I even finished 😅)#(just Ibrahim and Hatice in general are people who latch onto each other to get over their losses and ache for peace amidst their turbulent#lives and positions and that's what keeps them close and will later too)
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